we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
