My room smells like vodka and shame
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
