Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Farmville is her only friend.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
