So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
