I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I want to have your abortion
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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