I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
