yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
