the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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