My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
