Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
