She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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