are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
