Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
