babies were throwing up all over the place
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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