I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
