the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
her vagine was all disorganized.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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