It's official drugs can't kill me
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
