For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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