OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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