just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
