Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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