My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
No stitches, just platelets and will power
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
