So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
