Texts From Last Night · tide's Favorites

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tide's Favorites Texts:

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.

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(586): View more from Michigan

I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.

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(903): View more from Texas

Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.

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(330): View more from Ohio

French fry pizza

(502): View more from Kentucky

Are you brilliant or just really high?

(330): View more from Ohio

Can't it be both?

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(619): View more from California

His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.

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