Texts From Last Night · stout1945's Favorites

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stout1945's Favorites Texts:

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.

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(516): View more from New York

i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this

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(951): View more from California

So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.

(909): View more from California

dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?

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(708): View more from Illinois

its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something

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(845): View more from New York

Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?

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(757): View more from Virginia

i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.

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(720): View more from Colorado

This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.

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