Texts From Last Night · iloveyoulongtime's Favorites

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iloveyoulongtime's Favorites Texts:

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(716): View more from New York

He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.

(585): View more from New York

Find him and marry him.

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(530): View more from California

Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously

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(970): View more from Colorado

Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.

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