Texts From Last Night · ditzzzichick's Favorites

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ditzzzichick's Favorites Texts:

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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume

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(303): View more from Colorado

Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome

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(573): View more from Missouri

Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.

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(316): View more from Kansas

Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.

Fav 27 3221 1061
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(207): View more from Maine

I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....

(617): View more from Massachusetts

This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.

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(682): View more from Texas

I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face

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