Texts From Last Night · alwaysdrunk's Favorites

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alwaysdrunk's Favorites Texts:

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

That is beautiful

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(504): View more from Louisiana

You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar

(1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

To be fair I was thirsty

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"

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(973): View more from New Jersey

And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux

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(248): View more from Michigan

Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.

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