wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you win again, gameday.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
