take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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