So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
