One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
