Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
