just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
