My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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