Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
