Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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