just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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