I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
