laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
