Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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