you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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