I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
