it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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