What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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