It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
