There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
