no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
