I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
