My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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